I love Q&A’s , I love reading them, I love doing them. I remember in highschool I did like a full profile Q&A on everyone in my grade and had all their answers in a scrapbook, god I wish I had kept it.
I asked the ladies in my group https://www.facebook.com/groups/forherbox/ if they had any questions for me , about products, business, me , anything at all, so below is their questions and my long-winded , hopefully not too boring, answers. Also my editor hasn’t proof read this one for me so yep will be full of grammar mistakes, tough luck if bad grammar grinds you the wrong way.
What gave you the idea to start for her box?
In 2016 I was very busy and about 10 years deep into my wholesale/consulting business. My main job was helping stores and brands with sales & marketing and everything else in between. It got to a point it was becoming a little mundane for me and I was wanting something for myself, more so a hobby business outside my “real” business. My friend and I thought would be cool to start a little business selling monthly period boxes, so like pads, tampons, chocolate, pamper products etc. We then also branched out and had menopause, fertility and a few other women’s boxes and along came my first sex box, “Get in the Mood” and that was the turning point from hobby to business and from period boxes to adult store. Thats all everyone wanted sex boxes & sex toys. So I just followed that path and started creating more of those boxes and then started selling the products as well. I look back now and to be honest, cringe at some of the products I sold, I had no idea about the products, the brands, the quality, the world of the Adult Industry. I was extremely un-educated and I thought whatever looked fun and was dirt cheap was the best way to go. *CRINGE*
4 years on and I’ve come a long way and still so so so much to learn and change to become the business I wanna be. I now sell 95% premium products and my outlook on what I want my store to be and the service I offer is so different. I want to learn everything I can, and share that information as much as I can, and only sell products people will love and use. Have people know they can count on me and the products I hand pick to sell and learn as much as they can to enjoy themselves , their bodies, their relationships. I have such huge plans for my little business and can’t wait to start chipping away at them to really be niche and offer a very specialized service. My goal financially for business is only to be able to pay myself (and my assistant Sara) a decent wage, I dont want to become a huge million dollar company, i want to say small so I can still have full control and do 99.9% of orders and customer service and want my business to be more about education and changing lives, then about making larger profits.
What advice would you give to others wanting to start their own business?
Be passionate about what you are about to do, whilst I’ll be honest, I’m not passionate about kinky sex, I am extremely passionate about helping people that want to explore their bodies, their fetishes. I want people to be happy and to be part of something that changes their lives and brings them peace & happiness and I believe my personality and my adult store can do this, even though I’m pretty vanilla and don’t always practice what I preach. My other advice would be to be prepared to invest a lot of money and time, I work minimum 50 hours a week and have a huge debt that I’m only just starting to pay off after 4 years and I’d likely earn more being on centrelink. So whilst its not that way for all people to be poor and work too hard , it is the reality that it is harder then it looks and requires a lot of determination and endless amount of time. The thing I am extremely lucky about is I am obsessed with my job, I fucking love my business and love what I do. So even when I’m unwell , or its nights or weekends or I’m bored, I choose to work because I just love it so much. So definitely do something you love or something you are very good at and will enjoy doing.
What is the sex question you’re asked the most?
The most common question I get multiple times a week goes a little something like “I want to buy myself and my partner a box, but we don’t own anything , we don’t know where to start, we are pretty vanilla and we don’t really have sex very often after having kids, and want to spice things up again” . So first of all I reassure them they are in safe and very familiar hands, hello I have 3 kids and I too need to spice up my own sex life and understand that sex takes a massive back seat in some relationships at some point. I then assure them that I can definitely do up a box of things (Mystery Box is best option to start with or I can send them multiple links of product suggestions) that are easy to use, that they will use and enjoy and not be intimidating or overwhelming or wild. The feedback I receive is always so heart-warming and I do think I’m out here changing lives lol.
Is it weird having family and friends know about your business? Was it ever awkward to tell people that you sell sex toys?
I’ve never really asked my family or friends what they think, I think there only issue would be how hard I work, not what my work is. They all think I work too much and need a break, but I dont think they have a issue with me owning an adult store. I have never found talking about sex, masturbation awkward which I think is why I am so good at my job. I say clitoris like you say “we are out of milk”. I feel more so bad for people that ask what it is I do and I answer and they might not be prepared or wanting to hear the answer. I’ll talk about stimulating your clitoris til the cows come home and I love that I’m facilitating others feeling more confident in having these conversations as well.
Whats the most popular sex toy you sell?
Other than the Mystery Boxes, the Irresistible Mythical. It is still by far my personal favourite and I guess thats one of the reasons it sells well too. I did a review ages ago on it and everyone wanted in on it and I guess word of mouth it spread from there that , that was the toy to own. I find lots of things I personally love sell well as I vouch for them and recommend them. There is so many new & amazing products I am excited to try this year and review , but I need my husband to return to work and kids to return to school first haha. You can also shop my favourites here.
What’s the most random request you have had?
I usually wouldnt repeat something a customer said to me, but my most random request, I guess not so much random as more so annoyed me. This is word for word the conversation. I’m happy to help, but I am not happy to receive dick pics. Ever.
Guy: Hi, I have a small asian sized penis and require a cockring. (his words not mine)
Me: Hi, thank for your question, I’d be happy to help, I have lots of different size cockrings but most of them stretch so can fit most people.
Guy: Do you need to see a photo of my penis
Me: No, I definitely do not , here is some that you could try *inserts links for a few*
Guy: Can I send you a photo of my penis now
Me: No please do not send me a photo
Guy: Im sending a photo
Me: DO NOT SEND ME A PHOTO
Guy: Why can’t I send you a photo so you can try measure it. Will you accept return if i try it on and it doesnt fit.
Me: BLOCKS HIM.
What’s your average age and demographic?
I guess my main clientele is mums, but I really do sell to everyone from 18 to over 60 from what I know, obviously I only know info that I’m told from the customers that communicate with me. Which I love by the way, I much prefer customers telling me about themselves, their lives, because the more I know, the more I can help suggest the right products , like I would in a store face to face.You are never bothering me or never TMI, the more I know, the better help I can offer.
How to get your drive back after child birth!!!!
Not sure where to even begin to answer this as lots of different answers for different situations. I guess, once you are all healed and given all clear from Dr to take it slow, lubricant is everyones best friend, if you are still scared then you can start off with dilators as well. I’d personally get a good clit toy like Irresistible Kissable if you are not wanting to give back into penetrative sex or toy play. I think it’s more about finding the time and energy and privacy, you definitely need to take the opportunities to masturbate or have sex when you can. This might mean self-care in the shower, or morning sex when the kids are still asleep. I know for me, it’s sometimes making myself do it and then realising “oh thats right I really enjoy this” , but i throughly understand how exhuasting life is and you do have to put more effort in, make more time for it. I think that’s another reason the Mystery Boxes work so well for couples, as it kinda forces there hand to start thinking about sex again.
I want to order a Mystery Box, but I really don’t like any sort of Bondage but I am keen to try an anal toy, can you make a box like this?
Sure can, every day I sell Mystery Boxes and encourage customers to pop in notes at checkout anything they definitely do or don’t want. Example would be to say “no bondage. beginner anal toy for her” . The only thing you can’t do is request a specific item.
What’s the best way to turn your man on??
I think this is really different for every person. What I would encourage is talking about it, if you don’t feel comfortable doing it face to face, send each other some sext messages with some sexy suggestions. There is also games that are a fun way to find out what each other might be into without having to have a chat about it. I feel like my husband is turned on 24/7 so I dont have to do anything but I guess being spontaneous helps as well as introducing something new occasionally.
Tell me more about yourself Nik!
Like A/S/L? lol Um Im 35 this August , mum to 3 boys ( River my 2 year old – his the one with Type 1 diabetes , Jet & Jackson who are from my first marriage they will be 14 and 12 this year).
I live at Carseldine (North Brisbane), my home office is a large room right beside my bedroom. I’ve definitely outgrown it but have no options to move or expand for now.
I am married to the most amazing man in the world, Christian. Not sure what else to say, but open to more specific questions if you want to get to know me better 🙂
What do your advice to someone who in new to the sex toys world?
To talk to me before jumping on the website, whilst I’ve hand picked 2500 products out of about 50,000+ , it can still be really overwhelming. Start off with something good and good quality so you are not turned off your first experience. A toy that is hard to use, uncomfortable, poor quality, not right for your needs, will just turn you off toys all together. The items I sell you wouldnt really have this issue but its still hard to make a choice where to start and thats why I am here to help. A few other things other then getting the right toy, would be making sure they know about using the right lubricant (water-based) and storing them (away from each other). For a female I’d usually suggest to her a good clit vibrator, a good clit air wave toy , a good rabbit and a good vibrator to start with and I usually flock to the likes of something from Nalone, Svakom, Femme Funn & Irresistible to start with.
My gynocologist suggested Kegel balls, what would you suggest?
I teamed up with our new sexpert Sally and we wrote a blog post recently about this, you will find my suggestions there https://www.forherbox.com.au/2020/04/20/kegels-everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-those-balls-but-were-too-afraid-to-ask/
Whats your #1 toy to buy for him?
I like something I can use on him as part of foreplay, like the El Ray Stroker or the Fun Factory Manta. I have selected the best of the best toys for him on my website, so many he’d get plenty of mind blowing enjoyment from, but as a personal recommendation I like ones we can use together like the 2 strokers mentioned.
What do you do outside of work?
As I said before , I work a lot because even after nearly 4 years I’m addicted to it. But I do have a set up where my playstation is beside my 2 work screens in my office so I quite often nights and weekends will play Fortnite (don’t judge me) and in between being dead/loading next match I do shipping labels, emails etc. I do like to go out on weekends to a local market and support some small local businesses, I get off on that.
What are you currently watching?
Half way through current season of Ozark on Netflix.
What is your least favourite part of the business and most favourite?
Least favourite – Reconciling accounts and dealing with dickheads (they are very rare though). Keeping my office clean appears to be my least favourite thing. I’m a creative, messy worker. Being alone. I finally got my assistant Sara and then covid came and fucked ass up the ass dry and I’ve really struggled without her here, even though she is doing a phenomenal job at home with her own 3 kids.
Most favourite – Customer feedback, when they go out of their way to message me and thank me for how much they love the product and how its helped them or helped their relationship. Sourcing new products, I’m very particular and of late I’ve deleted 100’s of lines and got amazing stuff now that I’m so stoked and lucky and proud to be a stockist of.
Your favourite thing to spend money on?
At the moment, co-ordinating tracksuits. Obsessed. Plus overpriced skincare that I forget to use. And my bank account statement would also say a disgusting amount of Uber Eats.
My husband doesn’t last long when we have sex, what are your suggestions?
I’ve done a full blog on this here, called fun ways to delay.
Goal for 2020?
Personally – I wouldn’t even know where to begin or where to end with a goals list. I think overall it would be easier to say Goal for 2020 is to be happier. I suffer from really bad anxiety and depression , so happy is probably my goal. I’m very happy at this particular moment, but it only takes something minor to send me into a downward spiral.
Also my goal would be to get my son River’s diabetes under control, its been 3 months now and its pretty fucked and no real improvements yet for him.
Work goal, would be to maintain the level of sales and enquiries that I’ve has since COVID, I was very very very lucky to be in a business that flourished from this and I’ve done as much as I can to give back to people as well that have not had it so lucky. And to learn as much as I can and share what I learn.
I have so many more questions to answer which I will save for Part 2 shortly. Have a question drop it in comments below or contact me anytime firstname.lastname@example.org or message via facebook here